Σάββατο, 13 Σεπτεμβρίου 2008

Έτσι εξηγείται!

Το είχα ψυλλιαστεί εδώ και καιρό αλλά τώρα σιγουρεύτηκα.

Όπως λέει και η Jane Austen, δεινή γνώστρια της ανθρώπινης φύσης και τότε (1800) και τώρα: Where people wish to attach, they should always be ignorant. To come with a well-informed mind, is to come with an inability of administering to the vanity of others, which a sensible person would always wish to avoid. A woman, especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceale it as well as she can."

Να γιατί δε βρίσκω άντρα!

Από αύριο θα (προσπαθήσω να)το παίζω ξανθιά.

Παρεπιπτόντως, πρόσφατα διάβασα ένα πολύ ωραίο ποστ για τον Πόλεμο των Φύλων που ξεκαθαρίζει λίγο τα πράγματα.

57 σχόλια:

Dr.Skia είπε...

Οι άντρες θέλουν να πιστεύουν ότι έχουν εκείνοι το πάνω χέρι. Άρα εμείς πρέπει απλά να τους αφήνουμε να το πιστεύουν. Αλλά για να λέμε και του στραβού το δίκιο, κι έμας αρέσκει μας να νιώθουμε μερικές φορές ότι έχουν εκείνοι το πάνω χέρι.

Leni είπε...

Συμφωνώ εν μέρει με την dr.skia. Αρέσκει στους άντρες να πιστεύκουν ότι έχουν το πάνω χέρι. Και νομίζω οι περισσότεροι σήμερα φοβούνται τις δυναμικές γυναίκες. Γιατί; Ίσως επειδή εν θύματα μιας παραδοσιακά πατριαρχικής κοινωνίας που δυσκολεύκεται να εκμοντερνιστεί όσο αφορά φυλετικά θέματα.

Αλλά τούτο εν σημαίνει ότι πρέπει να συμβιβαζόμαστε με τον τρόπο που περιγράφεις drSpock ή που περιγράφεται στο άρθρο του Guardian. :/
Κάποιοι συμβιβασμοί εν απαραίτητοι, αλίμονο. Αλλά όχι και τόσο χοντροί...

Απλά, πιστεύκω, εκείνος που θα αξίζει πραγματικά τον κόπο είναι εκείνος που θα τον ελκύσεις γι' αυτό που είσαι. Κι εκεί θα είσαι happy. Αλλιώς θα ζεις την απόλυτη καταπίεση, σε μια σχέση χτισμένη στην άμμο. Άσε που εν να δυσκολεύκεσαι να εκτιμήσεις τον άλλο που έχεις δίπλα σου.

Πολλά ρομαντική; Μπορεί. Αλλά αρνούμαι να υποταχτώ με τούτο τον τρόπο γιατί ο άλλος εν θέλει να σεβαστεί την προσωπικότητα μου.

Εν να μου πεις, άμα περνούν τα χρόνια τι κάμνεις; Άμα είσαι 30, 33, κούκλα, με προσωπικότητα και με μια πολλά decent δουλειά και εν βρίσκεις ένα πλάσμα για να κατασταλάξεις; (παραδείγματα πολλά, η αναφορά τους εν pointless)
Εδώ δηλώνω εξίσου προβληματισμένη.. :/

just me είπε...

err that would be Austen :P kai ok en bullshit, it all depends on the kind of man you wish to attract...

drSpock είπε...

Το σχόλιο ήταν κυρίως χιουμοριστικό και αυθόρμητο γιατί διάβαζα το Northanger Abbey.Μάλλον έμεινε μου το κουσούρι του σοβαρού! Η Austen (συγνώμη για το typo just me) είχε δίκαιο γιατί την εποχή της όπως και να ήσουν σαν γυναίκα ο σκοπός της ζωής σου ήταν να προσελκύσεις τον "κατάλληλο" άντρα ασχέτως του αν θα σε έλκυε αυτός.

δρΣκιά@Κι εμένα μου αρέσει να έχει ο άντρας το πάνω χέρι, γι'αυτό και μόνο με alpha-male θα ήμουν ικανοποιημένη, γι'αυτό και δεν τον έχω βρει ακόμα σε μια κοινωνία που κατά βάση ευνουχίζει τους άντρες και καταπιέζει τις γυναίκες.

Λενι@ Εννοείται ότι τέτοιος συμβιβασμός δεν είναι δυνατός (και να θέλεις δηλαδή!). Και εξάλλου για μένα ο έρωτας είναι εγκεφαλική διεργασία και αν δεν θαυμάζεις τον άλλον (για κάτι ρε παιδί μου) απλώς δεν υφίσταται. Κι εγώ δηλώνω προβληματισμένη με άπειρα παραδείγματα.

just me@Έχουν μια πολύ μεγάλη δόση αλήθειας για την ανθρώπινη ψυχολογία, αλλά όπως είπες κι εσύ όλα εξαρτώνται από το τι άντρα (ή γυναίκα) θέλεις να προσελκύσεις. Προσωπικά λατρεύω το να μου μαθαίνει ο άλλος πράγματα που δεν ξέρω, αλλά όντως να μην τα ξέρω όχι να προσποιούμαι τη λοβοτομημένη!

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drSpock είπε...

Papoutsosiko@ Το άρθρο ήταν όντως ενδιαφέρον και επιβεβαίωσε πολλά πράγματα που υποψιαζόμουν. Γενικά πολλές φορές έχω την εντύπωση ότι ζω εκτός κυπριακής πραγματικότητας και κάτι τέτοια μου το επιβεβαιώνουν. Δυστυχώς η σημερινή Κύπρια και Κύπριος είναι προίον απότομων αλλαγών που δεν είχαμε το χρόνο να αφομοιώσουμε σωστά όπως σε άλλες Ευρωπαϊκές χώρες. Πήγαμε κατευθείαν από τη βρύση του χωριού στη ποπ κουλτούρα με ό,τι αυτό συνεπάγεται. Πολύ θα ήθελα να διαβάσω την επόμενη μελέτη γιατί οι Κύπριες προτιμούν ξένους μιας και εδώ και καιρό υποστηρίζω ότι προτιμώ τους ξένους, χωρίς όμως να έχω ιδιαίτερες εμπειρίες με Κύπριους και επομένως χρειάζομαι επιχειρήματα!

Αν ήξερα ότι το ποστ θα έπαιρνε τέτοια τροπή θα το έγραφα για τις Σχέσεις των δύο φύλων. Ίσως κάποια άλλη στιγμή, αν και δεν έχω τις προσωπικές εμπειρίες που χρειάζονται. Απόψεις ευπρόσδεκτες:)

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drSpock είπε...

Αχάπαρη@ Έχεις δίκαιο, αλλά δε γίνεται να φταίει τούτο για όλα. Έχω ακουσει για Κύπριους που με ξένες είναι τύπος και υπογραμμός και με Κύπριες περιμένουν τις παντόφλες και το φαί τους, όπως και Κύπριες που ενώ έχουν και καλύτερες εμπειρίες με ξένους καταλήγουν να ανέχονται τα πάντα από Κύπριους. Έτσι, μας έμαθεν η κοινωνία και δυστυχώς φοβόμαστε να το αλλάξουμε οι μεν για να μην μας πουν αχαϊρευτες που δεν ξέρουν να φροντίσουν τον άντρα και το σπίτι τους και οι δε γιατί εν μέρει τους συμφέρει. Και λέω εν μέρει γιατί όταν καταπιεζεσαι και θα γκρινιάξεις και θα απαιτήσεις αλλού. Εξού και τα παράπονα των αντρών.

Αν έχω κι άλλα σχόλια θα τα μαζέψω και θα επιχειρήσω ένα ποστ για το θέμα.
YΓ:Πολύ χαίρομαι που βλέπω νέα πρόσωπα. Δεν σας καλοσωρίζω έναν έναν γιατί εγώ τελικά είμαι και αχαϊρευτη και κάκιστη οικοδέσποινα!

The Passenger είπε...

Παράξενο. Ημουν με την εντύπωση ότι έχουμε πολλά alpha male στη Κύπρο.

drSpock είπε...

@Passenger: Me tin kali ennoia alpha-male ohi o tupos "gamw kai dernw"!

Τhe Passenger είπε...

Τι θα έκανε κάποιο alpha male στην ανθρώπινη κοινωνία? Επειδή στην φύση ο ορισμός που έδωσες εν πολλά ακριβής.

drSpock είπε...

@Ταξιδιώτη: Περίπου ό,τι και στη φύση, με την εξαίρεση του να πηδά όλα τα θηλυκά της αγέλης! Γενικά να είναι δυναμικός και ηγετικός τύπος, να αναλαμβάνει ευθύνες και να παίρνει αποφάσεις όπου οι άλλοι αδυνατούν. Να είναι σίγουρος για τον εαυτό του και να μην μεμψιμοιρεί. Να ξέρει τι θέλει και τον τρόπο να το αποκτήσει. Να είναι εφευρετικός και πρακτικός συνάμα. Στην πρωτόγονη κοινωνία θα ήταν αυτός που θα έσερνε τη γκόμενα της φυλής στη σπηλιά του (εννοείται ότι δεν θα έμενε στη σπηλιά των γονιών του!) και θα είχε εφεύρει τη φωτιά. Σε κάλυψα?

The Passenger είπε...

Α textbook perfect man με άλλα λόγια.

drSpock είπε...

Απο που νομίζεις ότι βγαίνουν οι textbook όροι? Είπαμε, ιδανικά! Εξάλλου για τον τέλειο άντρα έχω αφιερώσει άλλο ποστ αν ενδιαφέρεσαι. Πάντως μια που πιάσαμε την κουβέντα δεν θέλουν όλες οι γυναίκες a-male ούτε όλοι οι άντρες a-female. Κατά βαση μάλιστα είναι και λίγο δύσκολο να συνυπάρξουν. Το ζήτημα είναι να συμπληρώνει ο ένας τα κενά του άλλου και να αναδεικνύουν τα καλύτερα στοιχεία του χαρακτήρα τους σε μία σχέση.

Τhe Passenger είπε...

Σωστά

roam365 είπε...

gia to passage; en jeino pou leme ftistein gia na kollisei?

drSpock είπε...

roam365: Όχι αν και εκείνο έπαιζε πάντα! Εννοεί ότι αν θέλεις να αρέσεις σε κάποιον (ειδικά άντρα) καλό είναι να το παίζεις (αν δεν είσαι) και λίγο αδαής και άσχετη ούτως ώστε να έχει την ευκαιρία να το παίξει έξυπνος, μορφωμένος κλπ κλπ και να σου εξηγεί ή/και να σου μαθαίνει πράγματα. Μάλλον είναι το σύνδρομο του "Ωραία μου Κυρία" αν έχεις δει την ταινία με την Ώντρει Χεμπορν ή το θεατρικό που μου διαφεύγει το όνομα (καταραμένο Αλζτχάιμερ-που είναι ένας άντρας να μου το θυμήσει!).

Τελικά για άσχετο ποστ είχε μεγάλη επιτυχία.Ή που μου πάει το ξανθό ή που άγγιξα μεγάλο θέμα με μικρό ποστ!

drSpock είπε...

Επιφοίτηση! Το θυμήθηκα! Το σύνδρομο του Πυγμαλίωνα από το ομόνυμο θεατρικο του...του...(γαμώτο τα χάπια μου!) που έγινε και ταινία. Τελικά ή έναν καλλιεργημένο άντρα πρέπει να βρω ή τη θεραπεία για την πρώιμη απώλεια μνήμης.

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